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10.  On a hot day at Bridekirk , Steve Riley turned up” suitably “dressed in a pair of shorts that would have done justice to somebody a ” shade” smaller. Remember Linford? now you’ve got the picture!

9. Mary Benson remarked, on observing Emily , laying a trail up the steep slope of Haystacks in the Buttermere valley. ” She has walked up that  fell on her hands and knees”.

8.  After being told that his hound has been picked up at the Tallentire trails and was being brought in. The look on Phil Graham’s face when he discovered it was in Dickie Smithson’s car boot and would be brought back when the last trail had finished.

7. On making a passage through a hedge I inadvertently dislodged my ‘ flat ‘at’ and it was now nestled in the thorn hedge where it stayed for two days until the next trail when on checking the opening in the hedge I discovered it, put it back on , never missed it.

6 This season’s driving award- No ! not Dennis, Geoff Jones – off- roading at Marton.  What happened Geoff? The side of the road looked solid as he let a car pass only to discover a ditch about the depth of a car wheel and ” down he went ” .Barbara remarked “solid” ! Who’s solid?

5 The award for the best dressed trailer of 2016 goes to– It has been jointly won by the “twins”  les and Graham Reid for their impression of two canaries ( anon description) .

4 Ambleside sports – phone call to the starting end trailer, who was on the top of the fell in dense low cloud. ” Hiya Garry”

” Where are you”?

“Have no idea !  but hang on the clouds lifting ”  ” F*** we are above Grasmere, we will get the next bus.”

3 Geoff and Barbara again!

Barbara- ” hurry up Geoff I’m bursting”

Baz-” No problem Barbara everyone’s  gone home, you can pee here”

with that I got in my car and proceeded to leave the field but I didn’t, with a quick turn about and with a whoop and horn blowing , I circled the lone car like an Apache on the warpath!

No palefaces but a fast disappearing pale a***.

2 . Another Geoff – this time Geoff Higgins.

Millstone moor , end of season, a lady with two hounds destined to be re-homed.

She stood talking and was asked ” which is that hound” ” Kinniside ” she said,” it received a card last week” ! With that said a rather flustered Geoff appeared with another hound, ” Excuse me ” that hound you’ve got is running in the next trail , you should have been given this one ” and they swopped hounds much too lady’s surprise and she remarked ” I thought they could tell them miles away ”

1 Well !  Number one for 2016 again features Geoff Higgins and Ian Rudd.

They both went to watch their pup at the only road crossing at Dearham.  They watched the pups cross and both came to the conclusion that it hadn’t gone by;

Asking permission to catch their wayward hound ; they then;  stood at the entrance to the footpath , opposite each other like two slip catchers at a cricket game, and waited and waited and waited.

Meanwhile back on the trail field the pups had finished and ‘ low and behold’ there was an unclaimed hound amongst the also-rans,

Who’s is it,? no prizes for guessing., Morecambe and Wise,? Laurel and Hardy ?. Little and Large ?

No Higgins and Rudd !

The question then asked was- ” should we tell’em or leave them !”

So if you are travelling between Dearham and Tallentire and see two fellas at the roadside ” Tell ’em nowt”!  LOL

The person who compiled this list remains anonymous .

signed Baz.

20 members were present at the December meeting.

Donald McLean was made an honorary member and John Bromage was appointed treasurer of the HTA.

All the recommendations were defeated.

A discussion regarding the mixture endorsed rule 70.1. The formula for trail mixture is 100 ml of aniseed and 4 litres of paraffin.

The problem highlighted- was the mixture responsible for respiratory problems in hounds and that some areas were paying 28p per litre and some £1.30p  per litre.

The results were inconclusive and further investigation was deemed necessary!

A request from the bookmakers regarding payment on the official result was passed on to the Executive as was the timing and clashing of dates with other sporting events.

JENNY’S AURA                   34   4   5   3   1   2

LIZ                                        24   9   7   5   2   4

GENERAL JAMES               19  20   4   6   6   2

SILVER DUSK                      13   8   7   3    2   3

BUBLE                                    9   3   4    1   0   1

OVERWATER ROGER           7   7   8   4    5   3

MITERDALE COPPER            5   7   4   5    5   5

MITERDALE RUSTY               5   5   7    6   6   3

ECLIPSE                                  5   5   1    3   1   2

OVERWATER HALLY              4 11    6   7    4   1

SWEET HARMONY                 3   9    8   8    4    3

LARTY CARTY                         3   1    7   3   0    2

MARGARET ROSE                   3   0  10   3   2    3

JUST MICK                                2  12  13  6   5    3

TELSTAR                                   2    6    3   2  3    2

QUIET OTTER                            2   4    5   7   7   6

HUNTSMAN’S LOYAL                2    4    1   5   3   1

QUEEN                                        2    0    1   1   3   4

MISHA                                          1    9    6   5   5   2

CANNY MOVER                           1    7    3   4   6   4

KENMORE                                    1    3    6   4    5   3

SILVER DAWN                              1    3    5   6    6   1

COOL ENOUGH                             1   1    2    3  11   5

PHOENIX                                        1    0   0     0   1   1

 BRACELET                         22   12   4   4   2   1

OVERWATER ARNIE           16    5    4   1  7   1

GALEMIRE GRACE              11   10   5   4  0   0

MARLI                                    11    5   2   2  1   0

JENNY’S DELIGHT                10    9   4   5  4   5

THORN DANCER                   10    3   3   6   0  3

JAZZ SINGER                           7    4   2   1   0  0

ENDURE                                    6   15  11   5   4  1

HUNTSMAN’S JEWEL               5    5    7  4   5  5

TRY AGAIN                                5    4    6   2   0  1

OVERWATER BESSY                4    1   3   2  1   2

ARIZONA                                    4    0    4   7  7  3

WASHINGTON                            3    4   5 13 10  2

TOMMY’S LEGACY                     3    3   1   1   1   4

SAMBUCA                                   3    2   4    1   5  2

HUNTSMAN’S JENNY                 3   0   6   2    2   7

EXPLORE                                    3   0   3    4   3  3

LADYBIRD                                    2   2   7    6  4  2

MEADOW DIXIE                           2   1   2    3  5  6

J L S                                              2   1   1    3  2  1

SONGBIRD                                   2  1   1    1   2  1

ISSABELLA                                   2  0   2    6   3  2

BEDAZZLED                                 1  5    0    1  1  0

PERSIAN BAY                               1   4  6    8  5  2

LADY BETHAN                              1  4  5     4  3  7

BEDAZZLED                                   1   5   0   1  1 0

JENNY’S CHOICE                           1   4   1   3  4  1

TRY TIME                                        1  2    2    1  2  1

WESTGATE BELLE.                        1   2   1   1   2  7

DEBRA                                             1  1   1   0    4  0

DAWN                                              1  1    1  0   1  0

SERENITY                                       1  1    0  0   0   1

LANGDALE RANGER                     1   0   3  2   1  0

MARLOU                                         1  0    2  1   3  1

FREE SPIRIT                                  1  0   0   0   2  2

FLAWLESS                                     1   0  0  0   1   0

Aspatria and Wigton .

13 members attended the meeting , Chair Colin Satterthwaite was re- elected as was the rest of the committee.  Congratulations were in order for the Senior champion Bracelet and runner – up Overwater Arnie and Senior maiden points winner Jazz Band,  thanks were also extended to the organisers of the October trails at Gamblesby.

The treasurer reported that they had a balance of £476.00 and that £600 had been distributed to local charities.

AOB> A discussion on All In  trails and it was recommended to the December meeting that there should be one per week, also alteration to rule allowing HTA major trails to be run on Sunday. Also recommended to the December meeting was the abolishment of the prize money for 7-10 at HTA major trails.

The quality of the mixture was also debated and although it would be better if one source was used for all areas. the practicality of this was brought into question.

Ulverston.

The area had ten meetings in the season resulting in a loss of £26 .

John Lyon was elected onto the committee and it was the members wish that Donald Mc Lean should be made an honorary member of the HTA.

Concern was made over the loss of some fixtures including that of the David Howson memorial trails.

It was recommended to the December meeting that all scouts should wear hi-viz jackets , all road crossings should have a warning sign , hounds crossing, and there should be a risk assessment for all trail layers.

Whitehaven.

22 members were present , a minutes silence was observed ,and the chair congratulated all points winners and mentioned the new trail venues and the new treasurer John Bromage, who reported a profit on the season of £633 and a balance of £6608 56p.

The area has 106 members and 30 kennels, it had 44 meetings last season made up of  S -44 P -44 OR 26- M 7 PM 4 OM 30 V 5 ONW 4 All-In 4.

Addition to rule 30

To authorise the promoter to refuse an hound entry and to report in writing within 48 hours to the Area Committee , the secretary and the hound owner, the reasons why.

This was carried.

Rule 76 Hounds partaking in HTA trails that are affiliated to another Association will qualify to run in trails under the rules of the HTA. recommended to the December meeting.

A discussion followed on – Is there any need for the continuation of ear – marking now that all hounds are chipped.

And is there an answer to why so many hounds are “under the weather” this last season.

Both ended inconclusively.

Cockermouth and Workington-.  The meeting got off to an inauspicious start when regular timekeeper David Hogg was late and after being reprimanded was told to stand in the corner by chair Mr Brown.

18 members were present and in the chair were Neil Brown and Phil Graham, who acting as spokesman congratulated the area for a record season, As treasurer he reported that the area funds stand at £4863 00. £700 was donated to charities including mountain rescue, local shows, rugby club and junior hound trailers. He reserved a special thank you to Margaret Pattinson , dedicated entry and gate person. Also the area had played host to the International trail and a profit of £1148.00 was made. The area itself had 46 trail meetings and has 60 members and 23 kennels  And also benefitting from the trails at Bridekirk was the Isel ward at Cockermouth hospital and cancer research from the Wythop trails.

Area hounds were also congratulated including Liz, Silver Dusk, Washington, Endure, Just Mick, Jazz Lyric and Jazz Band ( two areas) Eclipse,

Recommended to the December meeting also the abolishment of 7-10 prize money at major trails , an improvement in the quality of rosettes at major trails.

KESWICK.

David Loan welcomed nine members to the meeting apologies from Graham and Julie Birkenshaw.

The area had a quiet season only 6 meetings but a successful one with Jenny’s Aura winning the puppy championship. The chair thanked Margaret for her contribution to the Keswick reminder.

The treasurer reported a profit of £306 on the year and this was to be divided amongst local charities and the chair would donate £50 to the junior club.

The balance in the account was £1300.

The secretary reminded the meeting that they would be hosting the Bitch produce in June. There followed a general discussion on various topics including fixtures, ways of raising finance, a presentation day trail. It was intimated that Rosthwaite  could be back on the fixture list.

Senior Champion.       Mr A Blacklock’s  Bracelet.

Runner-up                   Mr J and E Irving’s  Overwater Arnie.

Junior Champion         Miss J . Bland’s and Mr A .LIttle’s  Jenny’s Aura.

Runner-up                    Mr L. Reid and Mr D . Allison’s   Liz.

HTA points Winners.

Open Maidens            Sunset Ridge

Open Non Winners     Spring Rose

Open Restricted          Razzle Dazzle.

Senior Maidens           Jazz Band.

Puppy Maidens           Speed On .

Veterans                     Artisan

Aspatria / Wigton   Wed Nov 2nd , Wigton Rugby Club.

Cockermouth / Workington. Thursday 3 Nov Seaton Rugby Club.

Ulverston           Friday 3 Nov Jutland Club Flookburgh.

Whitehaven     Mon 7th Nov Catholic Club Egremont .

Keswick          Thursday 10th Nov   Con Club Keswick.

Westmorland  Mon 14th Nov  Ivy Leaf Club Kendal.

Carlisle/ Penrith Tues 15th Nov Globe Inn Calthwaite

In the last week there have been three fatalities of hounds ,that were in training, an autopsy on one of them revealed Pneumonia was the cause of death, in the other two , who had similar symptoms, the cause was unknown. For the past few months some hounds have been under the vet for one thing and another and there seems to be no underlying cause. There has been a few guesses as to why but nothing conclusive.. The HTA will attempt to try and get an answer and to start with we would like to draw up a dossier of all hounds that have either had an unexplained loss of form, been under the vet without no conclusive reason why , and any hound that has suffered the following symptoms.

Coughing, Wheezing, chest pain, fever , difficult breathing, dehydration and loss of appetite. Your hound may have had these symptoms and made a recovery but we would like to know its history.

The Hound Trailing Association is looking for someone to takeover the post of treasurer. A knowledge of accounting is not necessary but would be a bonus.  Remuneration will be negotiable .

Applicants apply to the Chair – Vice Chair or Secretary by Sunday December 4th 2016.

Haven’t mentioned Caroline’s sense of direction lately, because she has been ‘up to scratch’ until going to Latrigg.

Go around the roundabout at Crosthwaite and take the first right.” I said

” I Know , shut up ” was the reply “.

So ! as we preceded up the east shore of Bassenthwaite , passing a few trailers , she suddenly remarked ” I am going the wrong way, aren’t I”

Well” you told me to shut up!.

The pups did it again at Eskdale – Crossed the road – jumped the wall – and landed squarely on the Hens !

Phil Graham lost his pup at Tallentire on Sunday – where is it ? in the boot of Dickie’s car going backwards and forwards from the last road to the ‘Redmain crossing’

Biggest cheer of the week – Foxparke Mamma Mary  finishing last at Eskdale Show. Nicola was quoted as saying there should be rosettes for the last to finish .Answer as quick as a flash .” Nicola , you haven’t got a room big enough to house them. ”

Took my grandson to Eskdale and on the last road we were whistling and shouting at the sheep to keep them back from the open gate. The hounds came and he started to shout to keep them back as well but they just kept coming.

It was rather wet at Dearham , so wet ,in fact that the canaries were out – alias the Reids.

£75  NO 105 Jackie Steele Skelsmergh Kendal.

£25  No    16  Graham Reid Cockermouth.

The members of the HTA pass on their condolences to Jeanette and the family of Les Hudson, who passed away yesterday.

Jim Bob Batty has lost his house keys and on the same ring ,the safe keys. But according to Jim , there is nothing in the safe and what’s more nothing in the house. If you have any information regarding this please ring Norman as Jim Bob has lost his phone.

Mobile phone kept ringing then went dead when answered, recalled the unknown number, no reply. At Bridekirk it rang again a number of times amd was now beginning to p*** me off.  ” somebody is ringing this mobile and I’m going to —–“just then a titter of laughter from the next car and who is on the phone ‘  Abrahams , grinning like a Cheshire cat– 1-0 ,watch this space !.

Got called Lewis after taking a young lady to watch the hounds cross on Monday at Croasdale, That’s rich coming from somebody who careered down the middle of Dunmail Raise soon after passing her test, as her passenger remarked ‘ never again’!

Quote from MIke Wilding after Bobby had won the non – winners at Westward – ” Look Out we are on a roll”. God Loves a trier!

If strictly wants some more contestants then look no further than Victor Sylvestor aka Brian ( Popeye) Graham.

The first shall be last and the last shall be first- hound trailing proverb that applied to Flawless , last at Ennerdale first at  Lowick- just goes to show!

£75 no 223   H. Rose.

£25 no  12    K . Lynch.